Back to Life

I don't want to sound morbid but I thought it would be good to get out what I have been feeling over the last few days. My family and friends have been telling and showing me how much they love me and all I have been able to think about is how much I love all of them and how close I came to being taken away from everyone too soon.

Everything started Friday morning (7/10) with a slight pain on my upper right side around the bottom of my breast that hurt with each breath I took. I had a photoshoot the night before where I was stuffed into tight couture gowns so I just thought that maybe I irritated a rib muscle so I didnt think much of the pain and just took a few advil hoping it would go away. By the time I was done with all my castings that day (which was about 4pm in Sherman Oaks) the pain had gotten worse. I suffered through the 2.5 hour drive home to Long Beach and took half a Vicodin to see if that would help subside the pain. I passed out for about 3-4 hours and woke up in even worse pain. I took the other half of the pill and tried to go back to sleep but there wasnt a single position I could lay in without being in EXTREME pain with every breath I took. The paid had also started to radiate into my right shoulder/shoulder blade area and was simultaneously hurting with every breath I took.

So at about 2am I decided to get on my computer to look up my symptoms to try to figure out what was going on with my body. I also wanted to give the other half of the Vicodin I had taken some time to take effect. After some research I thought that, at worst, I was having a gallbladder attack. I just thought "great! all the eating disorder BS of my younger years had finally come back to bite me in the behind!" I was hoping for a strained intercostal muscle (muscle between the ribs) but was preparing for what I was thinking was worst case scenario, having my gallbladder removed. For a VERY brief moment I did contemplate a possible blood clot because of the radiating pain in my shoulder, but I couldnt figure out any risk factors I had to explain it so I dismissed it rather quickly. By 330am the pain had worsened even more and I couldnt wait til Urgent Care opened at 7am so I woke up my dad and sister and had them take me to the ER.

When I walked in, I was about half way through explaining my symptoms to the nurse at check-in when they brought me back and started taking my vital signs. They quickly moved me to a bed back in the ER and I was seen shortly after that by the Head of the Emergency Dept. After answering a few more questions about meds I am on, my current activity levels, etc and doing an examination of my abdomen and pain areas he ordered a bunch of blood tests, one in particular he was interested in was the test that showed whether there were blood clots present in my body since being on birth control pills puts me at a higher risk for developing clots in my body. The doctor came back about 20 minutes after the blood was drawn and told me that the test came back positive for there being a blood clot in my body so they ordered a CT Scan with contrast of my chest to pinpoint its exact location.

It took about 30 minutes to get the CT scan and for my doctor to come back with the bad news. He said that the CT scan showed extensive blood clots in both my pulmonary arteries with the biggest one being in the lower lobe of my right lung. It was explained to me that I had an "infarction" of some lung tissue because of the blockage, which is basically medical speak for dead lung tissue due to loss of blood flow/oxygen because of the blocked arteries. So they admitted me to the hospital right away and started me on a Heparin drip to thin out my blood to prevent the clots from getting bigger and breaking off and traveling to other areas of my body. Since I didn't belong to any other risk groups for blood clots, hadn't traveled long distances or long flight, nor had I had any sort of surgery lately, the only thing they could tie the clots to was my use of birth control pills.

So to sum it up, the clots had somehow managed to form in my body and travel through my heart and lodged in my pulmonary arteries/lungs without killing me. I am basically a walking/talking miracle! They showed me the CT scan and while my experience in my bio classes with them is limited I did see the cloudy white area of dead lung tissue as well as the clots in my right lung, the clot(s) in my left lung weren't so easily identifiable because they were blocked by my heart...which is even scarier to know how close in proximity they were to my heart. Good thing I had been feeling tired and lazy the last week and hadn't been working out as much as normal, I could have dropped dead at the gym!

Now, 4 days after being admitted, I am home and glad to be in my normal surroundings. I feel and look like a pin cushion as they had to take my blood every 6 hours to test my INR levels to make sure they were at the correct levels before letting me go (normal is around 1.0 and I needed to be between 2.0-3.0). The point of keeping them at a higher level is to prevent the clots from getting bigger and causing more damage. At this point, I have to give myself an injection of Arixtra into the fat of my stomach everyday through Friday (its a boost to the oral blood thinner meds) and take Warfarin daily for the next few months. I also need to get my INR levels tested every few days until they levels stabilze so I get to be a pin cushion for a little while longer, YAY!

I am so grateful to be alive. Sometimes I wish I didn't know as much as I do medically when I am personally involved in situations like these. To know how close I came to death or stroke, and a sudden onset of either, really sank in while I was in the ER and I couldn't help by cry and think about how much I hadn't done yet in my life. I try to live a healthy life and take care of myself. I dont smoke, drink rarely, exercise 4-6 days a week and eat a very healthy diet. I would have never thought something like this would happen to me, but it did. I definitely have come away from this experience with a new view on life, one that is more positive and focused on living life to the fullest! I will be ready to hit the ground running with my career so I can set myself up financially to get through school starting next fall. Ultimately I would like to become a doctor, it has been my calling for almost my entire life but I somehow always put it on the backburner or settle for something else. Not anymore.

Life is precious and time is limited so do all that you can today because you never know if you have tomorrow.