Been a long time.,..

I know I have neglected my blog for quite some time due to a massive increase in work, luckily. Some changes recently....a LOT less modeling gigs, probably mostly due to my weight gain and now being more of a size 6 than a size 4 but I am ok with that. Just recently dyed my hair to a darker blonde hoping it will be me more "normal" in my look so I can book more commercial work since that's where the money is, especially at my age.

I have to admit, though, that I do miss the high fashion modeling days. I was going through my stuff in storage at my dad's place and came across a mini-album I made a few years ago of all my old modeling photos ranging from my first photoshoot at 16 to my pictures from NY and Europe and it made me a bit nostalgic and long for the old days. Granted I was WAY too skinny and not healthy during these years but the traveling and great clothes and designers I got a chance to work with is something I definitely miss. You get a small taste of fashion in LA but its really a joke when compared to NYC and especially Paris, Milan and London. Part of me would love to live overseas again in London or Paris but the other part of me wouldnt know what to do with myself over there. My idea of those countries was living and working there as a model so to go back there not in that same profession sounds and feels "weird." Its like when I moved back to NYC to live as a "normal" person with a normal job....I felt kinda lost in the city. Yes it was the same great city I remember with a hodge-podge of people, cultures and great food but it just wasnt the same.

I guess its just a part of growing up and getting older that I am still adjusting to. There is not a change in hell I could ever do high fashion modeling again, even if I lost a bunch of weight and was a size 0 again. Realizing that has been tough but I have tried to focus my energy on developing a commercial modeling career, especially since I live close to LA/Hollywood where most of that type of work is. It definitely pays more per job than most of the high fashion stuff I did when I was younger but its still a transition that I need to get used to.

I also restarted my wedding planning and production business last January so I have been having a fun time building that business again. Lately my time has been pretty much divided evenly between commercial/acting jobs and the wedding thing and so far it has been mostly fulfillling, hopefully I can get it to a point where one or the other OR both makes me happy with my career choice(s).

To be continued...