4 days to go...

Nerves are starting to set in but thank god I have so much on my schedule over the next few days I don't have much time to think about it. I have a fashion show up in LA tomorrow night, on Sunday I have an informal modeling event for a bridal gown designer (Kirstie Kelly) and then Monday is tie-up-loose-ends day with laundry, mani/pedi and a facial on my schedule.

It's hard not to be blown away by what has happened in my life over the last 10 years. It has been almost 10 years since I first went to NYC for the sole purpose of getting a modeling agency. Back then I was in "prime" condition - young, skinny and ready to go. Now, I am older, not as skinny and trying to do the same thing again. Back in 1999, I went to NY armed with 3 professional but not so good pictures and some snapshots hoping that 1 out of the top 10 agencies in NYC would take me on. After seeing everyone, I had offers from 9 of the top 10 agencies and decided to go with Women (one of the top 3 at the time and STILL one of the top agencies in NY).

This time around I do not expect things to be as good, I am an optimist but definitely a realist about this business. I am competing with girls 10+ years younger than me and skinnier than me...my chances are low but there is a chance. Luckily I have taken pretty good care of myself over the years and have very few lines and wrinkles on my face so I usually pass for 22-23 here in LA so I am going for the same age range when I get to NYC. I will be visiting 19 agencies (yes things have changed quite a bit in 10 years) and hope 1 wants me. That's all I need, just 1 agency to like me and want to represent me. I have been testing like a mad woman here in LA over the last few weeks to try and build as good of a book as I can before heading out there. That "experience" and the level of pictures in my book will be the only real advantage I have going into the agencies since I am not a young little thing. But I am happy with the pictures I have and think they will take me far in LA if NYC doesn't work out...but hopefully things do work out :)

To prep for this upcoming trip, which I booked 2 1/2 weeks ago, I have been working out at the gym almost every day (I have taken maybe 3 days off over the last 4 weeks). I have tried to change up my diet to see what would be most effective but have found my body to not be too cooperative. Unfortunately my body does not react to certain things like it used to and seems to be at that point of "NO WAY! I AM NOT LOSING ANYMORE WEIGHT!" but I am trying everything I know to trick it into going a little lower. I have tried low carbs/high protein, low calories, etc. I have tried working out 2 times a day, weights every other day, etc. but I am just not losing weight as quickly as I used to or would like to. I have, to say the least, dropped 1 dress size since the end of January so something is working, I just dont see it. Maybe its my BDD (body dismorphic disorder) coming back to haunt me. Whatever it is, I am trying to stay optimistic and know that I am doing everything I can to be where I need to be and now its really up to God.

Wish me luck! My goal is to blog each day during my trip to NYC so keep checking for updates...I leave on Tuesday 3/31.